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The Secret to Overcoming Adversity
We all face adversity during our lives. Some of us persevere and others are overwhelmed. What makes certain people more successful in dealing with difficulties than others?
There is no answer that is universally applicable, but people who excel in challenging situations have an approach that sets them apart. Let’s take a quick look at six individuals who have successfully faced down heartbreaking experiences.
Ludwig van Beethoven
Music was Beethoven’s life passion. By the age of twenty-three, he was recognized in Vienna as a piano virtuoso. Before he turned thirty he was regarded as one of Austria’s most important young composers. The loss of his hearing near the height of his career was devastating and led him to depression and thoughts of suicide. Instead, his love for music saved him. Compelled to create, he sawed the legs off of his piano, placed the piano on a wooden floor, and felt the vibrations to “hear” what he was writing. Beethoven wrote his most famous work, the Ninth Symphony, when he was totally deaf. When he conducted the symphony at the initial performance, he could not even hear the thunderous applause acknowledging his accomplishment. Despite his disability, Beethoven is renown as one of the greatest composers of all time.
Viktor Frankl
Viktor Frankl’s father, mother, brother, and wife died in Nazi concentration camps, but despite being forced into slave labor and nearly starving to death he survived. One historian asked, “How could he—every possession lost, every value destroyed, suffering from hunger, cold and brutality, hourly expecting extermination—how could he find life worth preserving?” Years later, Frankl explained, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way…. All efforts and all emotions were centered on one task: preserving one’s own life and those of his closest friends….”
Maya Angelou
Before she turned twelve, Maya Angelou was rejected by her mother, raped by her mother’s boyfriend, and terrorized by white supremacists. By seventeen, she was a prostitute, surrounded by gangsters, and had given birth to a child. Her initial reaction to this depraved upbringing was to withdraw into herself, but in time these experiences motivated her. She became an author, poet, singer, actress, television and film producer, civil rights activist, and professor. “I’m really very lucky because of those difficulties. I don’t regret living any of it. I had the blinders knocked off my eyes…. I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. I swore I’d never lose again.”
Morrie Schwartz
Mitch Albom’s favorite professor at Brandeis University was Morrie Schwartz, who he described as “a cross between a biblical prophet and a Christmas Elf.” Sixteen years after he graduated, Mitch learned that Morrie was dying from ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). That fall, Mitch and Morrie collaborated on a book about life and death. Morrie relished the opportunity: “Do I wither up and disappear, or do I make the best of my time left? I decided I’m going to live—or at least try to live—the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure.” Mitch’s account of Morrie’s philosophy in Tuesday’s with Morrie, became the most significant and far-reaching contribution of Morrie’s life.
Carol Grever
Carol Grever “plunged into a totally unexpected crisis” when her husband of more than thirty years tearfully admitted to her that he was gay and had been living a double life. “Once we know the truth, we can never go back to ignorance…. I was really confused for a long time. Stress dominated my life, and my blood pressure was way too high. I had to create a new identity, but I wasn’t sure how. The only way to get over it was to let go and forgive. The women who don’t make it, who sink into alcoholism, or substance abuse, or mental illness of some sort, or suicide, are the ones who harbor anger. It’s like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die. You’re just poisoning yourself. Everything that happened has been a part of my education. I needed those lessons, and I was given those experiences so that I could help others cope. I truly believe that, and this has become my mission. I feel that I have a purpose.”
Norman Cousins
In 1972, Norman Cousins, the editor-in-chief of the Saturday Review, contracted an illness from which his doctor said the chances of survival were one in five hundred. After reeling from the diagnosis, Cousins decided to take control of his recovery and escape the conventional treatment available in his local hospital. He conducted his own research and prescribed a regimen of high doses of vitamin C and laughter. The medical profession still doubts the efficacy of his approach, but Cousins survived to live more than twenty years longer than expected. After his recovery, he wrote Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient, in which he states, “I became convinced that creativity, the will to live, hope, faith, and love have biochemical significance and contribute strongly to healing and to well-being.”
What’s their secret?
These six people were challenged by serious threats to their mental and physical health. When their problems surfaced, they initially were distressed and responded emotionally. However, unlike people who are overwhelmed by adversity and cannot manage their emotional reactions, they took the next step. They adapted to their new realities by identifying the challenges, putting them in perspective, and using them as motivation to take action. Regardless of their circumstances, they became committed to do whatever they could to improve their situations. They refused to stay victimized and, instead, took charge.
Evangelical Pastor Charles R. Swindoll sums up the quality that allowed these six people—and others like them—to excel in difficult situations:
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.”
The people who overcome adversity believe that they have the power to change the future for the better, and they stand ready to prove it. They don’t dwell on the past; they focus on what they can do in the present. That’s the secret.
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