Caregiving can feel like a curse. You live with it each day, you do the best that you can, but it is stressful and tiring. Finally, it’s time to go to bed, and the sadness and frustrations go with you. They turn over-and-over again in your head. You’re tired but can’t sleep. Even your bed is no escape. There are no guarantees, but here are a couple of ideas that are worth a try.
Devoted as you may be, never forget that your life and health matter too. Sleep deprivation can end up being life threatening. Melatonin may be helpful in the short-term, and some people have found that magnesium glycinate works well. This is worth a discussion with your doctor because several over-the-counter products can have unhealthy side effects. But one way or another, sleep is necessary.
Dismiss, shift and mellow out. Some people choose to begin their bedtime ritual by recalling the challenges they face. They want to identify them (especially issues over which they have no control), so these can be acknowledged before they are consciously dismissed. The goal of this brain dump is to wave them good-bye for the night. You’ve spent all day long hauling these burdens, and they’ve done enough damage. Tonight, they will no longer be accepted. Sayanora!
Shift gears by controlling your breathing cycle. Slow and rhythmic. Think about fresh air, being in nature, and renewal. Think freedom. Think about things you are grateful for. Go to your happy place, where you are safe and warm and most comfortable. Let anxiety float away. (For me, this is past island vacations during the winter months. Wonderful memories that will never fade away and always make me feel blessed.) Positive emotions broaden our perspective, alleviate negativity, allow us to relax, and can invite sleep.
For many people, the better approach is to prevent thinking at all. Wipe your mind clean and concentrate on darkness or a mantra or random neutral objects. Since it is thinking and worrying that is keeping you awake, put it on hold until tomorrow.
If these ideas are not working, don’t just lie there stressing. After 20 minutes, get up and read, stretch, listen to music, or do some journaling. As a writer, my preference is journaling, which allows me to offload my troublesome thoughts onto my computer. They can just sit there and simmer until I want to revisit them, and then I can usually get back to sleep. Often this step will also lead to some helpful insights that can be beneficial down the road. Good night.
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