Early-onset Pain

Caregiver Suggestions

Early-onset Pain

All families dealing with dementia feel pain, but early-onset dementia (before age 65) is particularly devastating. Barbara Gray’s poem gives at least a touch of comfort.

IT REALLY ISN’T ME

Remember,

as we began our life together,

with all the

promises to be...

To welcome life’s challenges

as a team...

just you and me?

Little did we know

the wave of difficulty

when aging actually began

to change what we would see.

So if I get cantankerous

or make difficult demands,

please understand that

life has moved

way out of our shared hands.

We see it all around us

when forces not our own

make kindness seem to go away

and leave us each alone.

It’s a question without answers

never recognized before.

I just don’t want you feeling

that you must still endure.

Recognize it isn’t me

but something in my brain

that’s turning us to strangers

and creating so much pain.

So let’s decide right now

that if I turn away,

I really hope that you

start heading your own way.

No promises are broken.

It’s alright to be free.

Remember what I told you,

“It really isn’t me.”

© Barbara Wood Gray

Play The Audio For This Article

Our Mission

Connection, Insight & Relief

To connect dementia caregivers to community, practical insights, and genuine relief — so that no caregiver has to figure this out alone, without a hand to reach for or a voice that understands.

Built by caregivers. For caregivers.

Our Vision

No One Walks Alone

A world where no caregiver walks this road alone — where every family touched by dementia has access to the compassion, knowledge, and community they so deeply deserve.

Because love deserves a community behind it.

Dementia Caregivers Connection isn't a program someone designed from the outside. It is the community Pete and Christine wish had existed when they needed it most — and it grows stronger with every caregiver who joins it.

Built by caregivers, for caregivers. We offer practical insights, compassionate community, and meaningful relief for every family walking the dementia journey — because no one should face it alone.

Join our growing community of caregivers.

© 2026 Dementia Caregivers Connection. All rights reserved.

Made with and for caregivers everywhere